Today we’re chatting about a topic near and dear to me- destination elopements.
If you’re considering ditching the traditional wedding route and instead opting for a destination wedding, then you’ve come to the right place.
As someone who has chosen, planned, and experienced a destination elopement, I have quite a few things that I have learned and want to share with others.
In this post I will share the things I’ve learned and hopefully shed some light on the pros and cons of going this route.
So who am I, and why am I writing about destination weddings?
First of all, let me say that I am absolutely not a wedding expert. Please know that. BUT I have had a destination wedding.
Short version of the story:
(A full post about our own destination elopement coming very soon!)
A couple of years ago when my (now husband) and I were beginning the wedding planning process, we were initially planning on a big traditional wedding. But the more we planned, the less excited we got about the idea of this huge, expensive wedding that just quite honestly didn’t seem worth it. We began to think about doing a destination wedding and quickly realized how much more exciting and perfect that seemed for us. We both love to travel more than anything, neither of us really had much of a desire to have a big wedding, and we began to see how much more bang for our buck we would get doing a destination elopement rather than a traditional wedding.
Flash forward a few months, we were out in Big Sur, California reading our vows to each other on the cliffside while the waves crashed below us, and it was honestly just the best, most beautiful moment. We ended up taking two weeks and using all that money we would have spent on a venue, catering, decorations, etc., and instead used it for a road trip across the country (quite literally- we drove from Indiana to California and back, and visited 13 states along the way).
There is not a day that goes by that I regret choosing this type of wedding. It was just my husband and I, standing in a beautiful place that we had always wanted to go visit, and saying our vows to each other. After the wedding, we spent the rest of the trip exploring more and more places- national parks, new cities. We saw deserts and forests and mountains and lakes and the ocean. We had the time of our lives, and it was so, so perfect.
Our destination wedding was amazing, and I know that this is the case with so many people. But I know there are also people that this may not be right for.
So let’s chat, and figure out if it’s right for you.
If you’re on the fence about a destination wedding, ask yourself (and your fiancé) these questions:
How many people do you want at your wedding?
This matters because in most cases, destination weddings aren’t big events where everyone you know is there. Typically if you’re traveling to a different place, it’s either just you and your spouse or maybe you bring along immediate family and close friends.
If you want hundreds of people there, then maybe a destination wedding isn’t the perfect choice for you.
However, if you’re okay with it being small and intimate, then this is a good option that should be left on the table.
What is your budget like?
‘Traditional’ weddings are crazy expensive. I don’t think you even realize the true cost of them until you start the planning process. If your budget is fairly small (like ours was), it can be difficult to plan a big wedding.
When we were still planning a traditional wedding, I remember even having a hard time getting a venue. We had a budget of around $5,000 maximum for everything total. Nearly every venue we looked at was at least a couple thousand, with some of them requiring a minimum catering fee of $3,000 or more. Add to that our wedding outfits, hotels, decorations, service fees, etc and we would quickly have been well over our budget.
If you have a small budget and you feel uncertain about fitting everything in, destination weddings can be a great option.
Speaking of that,
What is worth the money to you?
Like I said before, if you have a smaller budget, it can feel less and less worth it to spend $2,000 on catering or $3,500 on a venue. To my husband and I, this just felt like a waste of money. We weren’t that excited about having a big wedding, so what was the point of spending thousands of dollars for this one day that we weren’t looking forward to?!
To us, the idea of traveling somewhere new and spending our money on an experience rather than on material items or wedding details seemed so much more worth it.
If a venue and food and a DJ and all of the traditional wedding stuff is worth the investment to you, then go for it! Have the wedding you want and love.
But if the thought of spending all of that money on a single day makes you feel more stressed than excited, maybe it’s time to re-think things.
I will say that when we officially decided to skip the big wedding and instead take a wedding road trip, we were able to pay for our entire trip with the money it would have cost to get a venue and catering. For us, that was a much more worthy investment.
How do you want to remember your day?
It can be helpful to think about what you want for your wedding day- like what you truly, genuinely want.
Do you imagine waking up and doing all of the big wedding day things, hanging out with your bridesmaids, taking photos with your family, having the ceremony and the reception and all of the traditional things?
Or do you picture something a little more untraditional?
For example, destination elopements may allow you to have more free time on your big day. You may have time to go out to breakfast or take a morning hike. You might have more time to focus on the small intimate details rather than having this big timeline you have to follow.
Both in my experience, and based on the research I did prior to our wedding, destination elopements just generally allow for more flexibility in your day.
So truly think about what you and your partner want your big day to look and feel like, and plan around that.
So, is it right for you?
If you’ve asked yourself the above questions, and you feel like a destination elopement sounds like the way to go, then time to start planning!
We had so much fun planning our trip- especially because it gave us the opportunity to plan a fun trip to a place we had always wanted to go.
So if you’re ready to get into planning an elopement of your own, here are a few things you should do to get started.
Figure out how many people you want there.
The term ‘elopement’ has commonly been used to describe just the couple running off and getting married, but that doesn’t always have to be the case.
Many couples choose to ‘elope’, but still like to have close family members or friends there. This could be just your parents, your best friends, a few extended family members, or whatever you would like.
It can also just be you two. My husband and I chose for it to be just the two of us, and it was still a very special moment.
Think about if you want anyone else there, and if so, how many people?
Figure out where you want to have it.
This is the fun part. Maybe you have somewhere in mind that you’ve always thought about getting married at. Or maybe you have a long list of places you think would be beautiful.
When we did this, we wrote out a list of all of the places we thought would be really cool to get married at, and then we individually ranked them on a scale of 1-5. Once we were done, we compared and narrowed it down to the few places we both ranked the highest. Then we talked about each of those places and settled on the one we loved the most.
Have fun with this! Think of places where you’ve always wanted to go and that would be possible for you to get married at.
Plan the logistics.
While you’re planning the location and the outfits and the honeymoon plans and all of the fun stuff, don’t forget to plan the logistical stuff too.
A few helpful things not to forget for your destination elopement-
The wedding certificate and the actual legal part of the wedding. Will you get legally married wherever your destination is, or will you do the legal stuff ahead of time and just hold your ceremony at your destination? Each state has different rules about marriage certificates and how many witness signatures are needed, so it’s important to plan in advance for these types of things.
The photographer. The photography is such an important part of your wedding day, especially if you are choosing to do a smaller wedding. Trust me- your family and friends will be so excited to see the photos of your big day. Make sure you find a photographer who can be at the location you’re planning to go.
The specific details of the day. And by this I mean to think about the details that may not be immediately obvious. When thinking about your outfit for the day, keep in mind the weather of the location you’ve chosen. Will it be rainy or cold or windy or muddy? When planning out how you’ll spend your day, think about whether all of it is doable. Wanting to play your partner a song on the guitar? Make sure you have enough room to bring your guitar on the plane or in your car. Will you have a wedding cake? Will you hire an officiant? Will you write your own vows?
This stuff may seem obvious to you, but sometimes small details like this can slip our minds.
Make sure you plan the day to be exactly what you want it to be.
Destination weddings are fun and exciting, but they’re also an opportunity for you to plan the day of your dreams. Elopements like these provide more flexibility for you and your partner to spend the day exactly how you want it to be. Make sure that you make the day all about you guys. Dream your wildest dreams and then go and make them a reality. Create a day you can look back at and smile from ear to ear. After all, this is your day.
Big Congratulations to you on getting married! This is such a fun and exciting part of life, and I wish you and your partner all the best.
I hope that you now have a little more insight into whether or not the destination elopement path is the right one for you. Like I mentioned before, while I absolutely loved that we chose the elopement route, I know it isn’t for everyone and there’s nothing wrong with it. If you’ve decided it is the right path for you guys, I hope this helped you out and provided some great tips that you’ll take with you.
Have any other questions about elopements? Drop them in the comments below!
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