Ahhhh December. The month of the year where everyone is both excited and panicked about what’s coming.. the new year.
We’ve been conditioned to think of January 1st as this boundary line where we suddenly have to invent new versions of ourselves and commit to making big changes overnight.
And it makes sense- as humans, we loooove a fresh start. A new beginning. We love the chance to get to tell ourselves ‘I’m different now. Better.’.
But there is a major problem with setting new year goals- most of us aren’t doing it the right way.
We tell ourselves we want to become x,y,z next year and we convince ourselves that we will become it, without fail.
So if/when we do fail (which happens because we are most definitely human), we don’t really know how to navigate it and often end up just giving up altogether.
But don’t worry- there’s hope for us yet. We just have to figure out HOW to set new year goals that actually give us a chance of keeping them.
Not only that, but it’s important to look at the goals we’re setting and figure out if they truly align with what’s best for us, or if we’re simply aiming for what we feel pressured to aim for.
So let’s get into allllll that.
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Realistic tips for setting new year goals
Setting goals should be done in a way that actually sets you up for success.
How you set your new year goals is the foundation for the rest of the year. Every action, every step towards that goal, is going to be influenced by the goal itself. So make sure you’re setting it the right way. Here’s how.
Get rid of the ‘all or nothing’ mindset
Let’s use eating healthier as an example goal because that’s a popular goal in our society. If you go into the year saying ‘I want to cut out sugar’, then on Feb 1, you eat a piece of cake at a birthday party, how will you respond?
This is where many people just completely give up. They think ‘Well, I already failed my goal, I may as well just wait until next year to eat healthier.’
The way around this is knowing, from the beginning, that there WILL be times where you mess up or fail to stick to your goal perfectly. You will not always be making the perfect steps towards your goals. You will cave sometimes, you will feel like crap somedays and just not have the mental energy to make good decisions.
It’s not an if, it’s a when.
And I promise it’s not because I doubt you, I just know that we’re all human and mistakes are inevitable.
But continuing on when you do fail- that’s where the real progress happens.
Action step: Recognize from the beginning that you will mess up sometimes, and let yourself believe that that’s 100% okay. Have a plan in place (if needed) to get back up when you fall down.
Set ‘tally’ goals instead of ‘new me’ goals.
This year I saw something on Instagram that completely changed the way I look at goals.
It was someone I follow, and she casually posted on her story a little progress pic of the new year goal she had set.
The goal? Go for 50 walks in the year. Each time she went for a walk, she would write a little tally and it would count towards her yearly goal.
Not ‘walk every day’, not even ‘walk twice/week’.
Just go for 50 walks in the year.
The pressure that takes off is incredible.
Imagine if you switched your goals into something like this- something that inspired you to be a better version of yourself, that invited you to do something life-changing, but took off most of the pressure?
Having these ‘tally’ goals can have a downside (if you get to the end of the year and realize you have a looooot left to get done). But they also allow you to keep going with your goal a lot longer.
Rather than realizing on week 2 of the year that you’ve already messed up, and feeling tempted to just quit it, you have a whole year to look forward to and work at it.
Action step: Think about how you can switch your goals into ‘tally’ goes like this. How can you zoom out a little and make the goal more attainable and less overwhelming?
Be honest with yourself about what has worked in the past
There’s a really hard thing to do in adulthood, and it’s admit that we aren’t always the people we wish we were.
But there’s also this freeing power that has. Let me tell you what I mean.
For years, I followed the same new years resolution schtick as many others- I wanted to start exercising. And I told myself year after year that if I just got a gym membership and was paying who knows how much of my hard-earned money every month, that alone would convince me to start working out.
And you know what happened… every single year? I paid several months’ worth of membership fees for nothing.
So lesson learned? Paying money for something is NOT enough motivation for me to use that thing.
Your thing may be different. Maybe you’ve learned that throwing away all the junk food in your house does NOT force you to eat healthy, it just makes you more likely to go to the drive-thru.
Knowing what doesn’t work will help you figure out what can work. If my goal is to start a new hobby, and I realize that I have a closet full of abandoned hobby supplies, then this time I should maybe avoid buying a ton of supplies until I figure out how to work on the part where I fall down- which might be feeling overwhelmed with starting, or struggling with time restraints.
Action step: Think about what has and hasn’t worked in the past to help you achieve your goals and make progress in your life. When you set your new year goals, make a plan of action using what you know.
Mindset shifts to adopt if you want to succeed
If you want to achieve your goals, mindset is the name of the game.
Your actions matter a little, your mindset matters a lot more. So let’s go over some of the mindset shifts that will help make your goals feel more attainable and help you keep going if times get tough.
‘Perfection is the enemy of progress’
We talked about this a little bit above, but having the mindset that if your new year goals get messed up, then it’s all over? A disaster waiting to happen.
I’ve said it many times already, but I’ll say it again- you are human.
Perfection? Not possible. And if you aim for it, you risk ruining any progress at all.
There’s a quote I saw one time that said “Even the smallest actions are steps in the right direction” (I don’t know the author).
But if your goal was to work on your side hustle 5 days/week and you only do 1 day this week, that’s not a failure. That’s still one day of progress more than you would have made if you gave up.
Switching how you view your actions and your shortfalls is crucial if you want to keep going.
‘Progress isn’t linear’
Along the same lines as the last mindset shift, it’s important to see progress for what it is- messy.
There will be ebbs and flows to your growth, as there is with everyone. There will be times when you feel like you are making huge strides towards your best self, and times when you feel like you’re in a slump.
And that’s okay.
If you can recognize that achieving your goals will look different from time to time, you’re going to be a lot more successful.
‘Take messy action’
I, like many others and maybe even like you, have spent so much time stuck in ‘planning’ phases of my life.
I recently heard it called ‘procrasti-planning ‘, which honestly, is perfect.
When I started this blog, I spent months, years even, planning things out. What blog posts I could write, how I could design my site, what things I could do to make money. Then when I got that done? I would do it all again.
What I wasn’t doing? Actually taking action on anything.
I felt like getting started meant I had to be completely ready. My actions would need to be flawless, so I needed to keep waiting to take the first step until I knew it was going to be the most perfect step ever.
But all that actually did was keep me from making any progress.
What changed the game for me was learning to ‘take messy action’. Learning to show up, imperfections and all, and just do the thing.
To write a blog post when I wasn’t fully confident in my writing style yet. Or make content that felt flawed and silly. To show up online, even when I felt like I was no one.
But showing up in messy ways changed everything, because yeah it was messy, but at least I was showing up. And that’s how I grew, improved, learned as I went, and actually made progress.
So when you set your goals for the new year, challenge yourself to take messy action on them.
7 realistic goals that will actually improve your life
There are obviously so many goals you can set for the new year, but I think it’s always a good idea to be real with yourself about what’s actually going to improve your life.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching in the past few years, a lot of working on myself and trying to find what genuinely makes me happier and more connected to myself and who I want to be.
There are a few things that have helped me, and that I feel confident will help you too. So if you’re looking for some genuinely life-changing goals that don’t feel overwhelming, here are my top recommendations.
Touch the grass more
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by life lately, one of the easiest fixes is to get more time in nature.
Away from screens, away from stressors, and into what’s real.
This can look different for everyone. For me it looks like going on a hike, or sitting in my backyard watching the birds fly around.
For you it might be going on a walk through your neighborhood, or having a picnic in the park, or just sitting on your back porch to drink your coffee in silence.
Here in the digital age, our brains are constantly being stimulated, and often that causes us to end up overstimulated. I’ve noticed that in a normal work day, by 1pm, my brain is feeling absolutely fried.
So my solution has been to schedule in an hour of non-negotiable ‘touch the grass’ time at the end of my work day, before I move onto my regular evening routine.
If possible, I try to get outside and physically touch nature, or at least surround myself with it. But if the weather is bad, this might look like going for a drive in a pretty place, or taking care of houseplants, or doing some sort of hands-on activity that doesn’t require a screen.
This goal has been life-changing, truly, and I highly recommend adding it to your new year goals!
Adopt a new hobby (that’s not a side hustle)
I don’t mean adopt a new hobby that you know you will be amazing at and can turn into a side gig. I mean adopt a new hobby that you can do for utter enjoyment. For relaxation and fun and pure amusement.
In this hustle culture we’re in, everyone is taking hobbies and figuring out how they can turn them into income. And I do it too, with writing and drawing and even traveling.
But it’s also HUGELY important that you have some hobbies that aren’t meant to be for income. Hobbies that you’re allowed to be bad at without the pressure of getting good quickly. Hobbies that make you smile and feel something and reconnect you to yourself.
For this next year, I challenge you to find at least one hobby that you can do just for your own pure enjoyment. Even if you absolutely suck at it.
I have written so many posts on hobbies recently, and you can check them all out here if you want some help finding the perfect hobby for you!
Make self care a part of your routine
One of the best things we can do for ourselves is practice self care regularly. But it can be soooo hard to do. We’re busy people, and there’s almost always a long to-do list of things waiting for us, so who has time for self care, right?
But self care is important. In order to be able to pour into other projects and people and relationships, you have to fill yourself up first.
If you’re looking for a new year’s resolution that will change your life for the better, more self care is the way to go.
And if you want some ideas for how to practice self care even when you’re suuuuper busy? Read this.
Get better sleep
Just like self care, sleep is one of those things that has a major major major impact on our lives and wellbeing, but most of us neglect.
Sleep influences everything about your life- your physical health, your mental health, your mood, how your organs function, how anxious you feel, how well you can focus, your creativity, and so much more.
So if you’re not getting 7-9 hours of QUALITY sleep each night, this goal needs to be on your list for the next year.
Figuring out how to sleep better is super tough, especially if you’ve been an unhealthy sleeper for years. But I tried to make it as easy as possible for you in this guide. You can grab it here!
Overcome consumerism
I’m putting this on the list because it’s going to be one of my personal goals for this next year.
Consumerism is getting out of hand for pretty much the whole world, and the effects of that are obvious. Landfills overflowing with discarded material items, so much clutter in homes that cleaning and organizing feels overwhelming, consumer debt climbing and climbing, and so much more.
Not to mention the mental effects it has on us.
For me personally, I’ve gotten stuck in the trap that I constantly need more things to achieve something. If I go on vacation, I need to buy a whole new wardrobe. If I start a new project, I need to buy every possible supply or tool that could possibly be used.
It’s started to seem like every action has began to require some new material thing. And then when I buy that thing, I realize that it actually probably didn’t make much of a difference.
For me, and many other people, being overly consumeristic has led to negative consequences like debt and feeling overwhelmed in our own homes, plus the negative effect on the environment.
So my goal this year, if you’d like to join me, is the be waaaaaay less consumeristic.
If I want something new, I can’t buy it right away. I need to give myself time to genuinely think about if it’s really worth the investment. (most the time I realize it’s not)
I want to make do with the things I already have (because I already have so much stuff), or look to sources like buying secondhand or borrowing from a friend before I buy new.
All of us can benefit from finding more contentment in what we already have, which makes this goal extremely beneficial for everyone.
Prioritize relationships
If you’ve gotten caught up in life and realize that your relationships have fallen to the side, then setting a goal of prioritizing them in the next year is a great idea.
This might look like dedicating one Saturday a month to having coffee with a friend, or planning weekly date nights with your spouse, or having family game nights every other week.
As an introvert, it can feel hard for me to reach out to loved ones and initiate things like this. But spending time with the people we love is extremely important. It fills our cup, it boosts dopamine, and it reminds us of how loved and cared for we are.
This can be a great new year goal to add to your list for the next year!
Say ‘no’ more often
This one’s for the people who feel like they give and give and always show up for others but might be neglecting themselves.
It kind of goes back to what we talked about earlier with filling your own cup.
If you always say ‘yes’ when someone asks for help or asks you to take on something new, eventually you’ll burn out. It’s a common trap.
We feel like it’s our duties as good humans to always be there for others. But there comes a point when taking care of ourselves and setting healthy boundaries becomes necessary.
If you’re feeling run down, overwhelmed with life, or like you’re always running on empty, it’s time to put those boundaries in place.
It might be saying no to a social event when you know you need time to yourself. Or it could be expressing your overwhelm at work when your boss asks you to take on yet another project. It could even be setting that boundary with yourself when you start to feel like you need to do more than you have time for.
Learning to say ‘no’, focus on your own needs, and be the support you need for yourself is going to change your life- trust me.
Final thoughts
Setting new year goals is a great thing to do- but doing it the right way is important.
By giving yourself grace, reflecting on what has and hasn’t worked for you in the past, and focusing on having a healthy mindset throughout the process, you’ll be setting yourself up for success.
I hope you have the best year ever and that you can make steps towards becoming you most authentic and happiest self!
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