Have you ever thought about your toxic habits? We all have them- it’s human.
Habits are extremely important to our wellbeing, especially when it comes to mental health. Habits are crucial for building routines, which our brains LOVE.
And while good habits can take our lives to the next level in a good way, toxic habits can bring us waaaaay down.
Whether you struggle with depression, anxiety, ADHD, another mental health condition, or just want to improve your overall wellbeing, reflecting on your toxic habits- and committing to cutting them out- is a perfect first step toward progress.
Below I’ve outlined 10 toxic habits that many of us are guilty of. Take the time to reflect on which habits are a part of your life, and pick one or two to try and overcome in the next few weeks/months!
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1. Comparing yourself to others.
We all do it. We see someone we’re jealous of, and we instantly start comparing ourselves to them.
It can seem so harmless, but it really messes with our overall happiness.
When we spend our time taking mental note of all the things we should be rather than what we are, we are keeping ourselves from the self-love we deserve.
I know it’s much easier said than done, but next time you start to compare yourself to someone else, try to press pause, and remind yourself of ways that you are unique and amazing.
Bonus reminder- that person you’re comparing yourself to is most likely comparing themselves to someone as well. Our views of ‘perfection’ are often subjective.
2. Neglecting self-care.
I get it-you’re busy. I’m right there with ya.
And when we have a seemingly endless to-do list, it can seem like a waste of time to ‘relax’ or spend time on our mental health.
But taking time to focus on ourselves, whether it’s daily or weekly, helps us in ways you may not even realize.
One time I saw a quote that has stuck with me. It said ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’.
That is a constant reminder that I can’t give my all to whatever I’m doing if I’m running on empty.
Take the time as often as you need to fill your own cup. If you’re looking for some self-care ideas, you might like this post: Self-care Ideas for Busy People
3. Spreading yourself too thin.
Despite what you might think, it is not your job to do everything for everyone all of the time.
There is only so much of you, and you can only do so much in a day’s time. Just like you need self-care, you also need to preserve some of what you have- your time, your energy, your mental space.
How can you do this? Start by practicing saying ‘no’ more often. You don’t always have to agree to help someone with their problem, or go out of your way to do a task, or always be available when someone else needs you.
I have lived life always being available for my loved ones, no matter how depleted I felt. I recently learned through therapy that not only was this majorly impacting my wellbeing, but it also wasn’t helping my loved ones. I got so used to being the person that was always there for others that I started anticipating their needs and trying to be the ‘fixer’ constantly.
Learning to take a step back and ‘check-in’ with myself before making myself available has been so freeing.
I know it can feel so selfish to say no to others in times of need, and I’m not saying that you should always say no. But learning to recognize when we need to set a boundary is huge for self-growth.
4. The toxic habit of neglecting physical health.
This is one that I am so so guilty of. I find myself overwhelmed and busy, and I completely put my health on the back-burner.
I resort to fast food to save time, I skip exercising, and I sleep as little as possible.
At the time it seems irrelevant and unnecessary to me to make a healthy meal or make sure I’m drinking enough water, but soon enough, I start to feel the effects of my careless choices.
I’ve realized that self-success and physical health aren’t completely separate concepts.
How we treat our bodies matters so much. It can lead to better mental health, more productivity and so much more.
I recently went in-depth on this topic in the blog post Is your physical health worsening your depression? I’d love it if you’d give it a read.
5. Letting others make decisions for you.
When it comes to making decisions, many of us lean on others for advice and wisdom, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It’s perfectly healthy to care about the opinions of others.
It becomes unhealthy, however, when we start to allow those opinions to override our own in the decision-making process.
If we know in our hearts and minds what we want to do, but we allow others to make the decisions for us, we end up living a life that doesn’t really feel like our own.
Whether it’s your parents or spouse or friend or some complete stranger swaying you, stick to what you feel is right for you.
Each of us has our own path to follow. Choose the path that makes you happy. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
6. Negative self-talk.
Just like comparing yourself to others, this bad habit can really take a toll on how we see ourselves.
The more time we spend talking (or even thinking) negatively about ourselves, the farther away we get from the truth about how amazing (and deserving of self-love) we are.
A good lesson I learned a while back is to talk to yourself just like you’d talk to your friend or loved one. Chances are you wouldn’t tell your friend that they are fat or ugly or undeserving of love, so don’t tell yourself that either.
Regardless of what you may think, you are amazing and beautiful, and worthy of love. Give yourself the kindness you deserve.
7. Waiting for ‘someday’.
Let me ask you this- are you currently going toward what you want most in your life? Do you feel like you are making progress toward your goals and achieving your dreams?
If the answer to that is no- what is stopping you?
So many of us spend our lives pushing off our goals and dreams in the thought that ‘someday’ we will do them or ‘maybe later’ things will be better.
But the truth is- ‘someday’ and ‘later’ likely won’t be any better than right now.
Life is so short, and it flies by. Rather than spending all of our time thinking about what life could be, we need to be actually living that life.
If you’re waiting for the perfect time to start something, that time is now. Take action, even if it’s messy action.
Right now is your opportunity to start living the life you want for yourself. So whatever that goal is you want to achieve- take that first step now.
9. Making your mental health condition your identity.
“I am depressed.” “I am anxious.” How many times have you said one of those phrases?
This one is a hard habit to break- but it’s super important that you do.
In order to heal from whatever mental health conditions you’re facing, you first have to separate yourself from them.
By simply switching to phrasing like “I am struggling with depression”, or “I am feeling some anxiety”, you teach your brain that this is an external thing that can be dealt with, rather than an all-consuming state of being.
My therapist describes it like carrying a backpack, which is an analogy I love. She says that just like books or belongings, you can be carrying the depression or the anxiety or the trauma, but it doesn’t mean you ARE those things.
Try to switch up how you phrase these things, and see how your mindset changes.
10. The toxic habit of suppressing your emotions.
There is such a stigma around mental health, even here in the 21st century. And while it’s starting to get better, it can still feel shameful or embarrassing sometimes to talk about what we’re feeling.
Dark emotions make us afraid that we will be locked up and called crazy. Setting boundaries and expressing needs makes us feel like we are burdening others. Talking about hard topics can feel scary and overwhelming.
Getting our feelings and emotions and needs out there on the table can be so so hard to do. But once we finally get the nerve to do it, we begin to free ourselves.
If you want to start somewhere simple, try doing a brain dump. Grab your laptop or a notebook or even the voice memo app on your phone, and just let it out.
No one else has to hear it or read it, but getting things out of your brain and into the world can feel like a literal weight off of your chest.
11. Making excuses for your negative behavior.
We all know someone who is never wrong. Or at least who thinks they’re never wrong. But how often do we stop and reflect on if we are being a little bit like that ourselves?
One of the hardest things about breaking toxic habits is recognizing them in the first place. And once we do recognize them, it can be hard to make a conscious decision to make better choices.
“Oh, I’m just grabbing fast food tonight because it’s too late to cook”, or “Oh, this impulse purchase is fine because it’s only $20”, or “Oh, I don’t need to work on my business tonight because I’m really tired.”
And it is definitely okay to not be making 100% perfect decisions all of the time. We’re human and perfection is not the goal here.
But when we continue to make excuses for bad habits, and one night of fast food turns into 10 nights in a row, and a $20 impulse purchase turns into an empty savings account, and one night of skipping your work turns into a 2-month break, then making excuses has finally caught up with us.
Do yourself a favor and own up to your toxic habits. Learn to recognize them and stop them in their tracks as much as you can.
12. The toxic habit of ignoring your own boundaries.
Boundaries are important. Like… super important. But they can be so tricky.
Setting them is difficult, but keeping them might be even harder.
When we have grown enough to realize that a boundary needs to be set, we also have to try and be disciplined enough to maintain it.
Whether it’s a boundary with a spouse, an overbearing parent, a difficult boss, a needy friend, or even with ourselves, there will likely be times when that boundary is tested.
Many people don’t respond well to having a boundary set against them. Some people will try to push back, or walk all over you, or make you out to be the bad guy.
But if you can find it in you to stay strong and withhold that boundary you’ve put in place, then your life will begin to greatly improve.
There are so many toxic habits that we humans tend to keep. Breaking them can be one of the hardest, but most beneficial and important things we can do, especially when it comes to healing from anxiety and depression.
I would love to know what toxic habits you have overcome!
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